


Blue

by butterscotchnotebook



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Character Death, Dogs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Euthanasia, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9098104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterscotchnotebook/pseuds/butterscotchnotebook
Summary: Dell never wanted it to come to this.





	

         For every joyous birth in this world, be it human or animal, there is an equally sorrowful death to accompany it. All things must come to an end, whether we want them to or not, and we must learn to cope with such an idea.

         Such is the case for Dell Conagher, proud owner of three wonderful dogs, named Blue, Tobasco, and Mickey. For almost fifteen years, these dogs, especially Blue, had been Dell's faithful companions, stuck by him through thick and thin.  
However, Blue had been sickly for a long period of time, and Dell, despite his best efforts, was unable to find treatment for her. The veterinarian had said that the most helpful thing for her now, was to put her to sleep.  
He sits in the cold, too-clean waiting room, Blue lying down beside him, her breathing coming in shallow puffs. She was in a lot of pain.  
He gave her a scratch behind the ears and tried to smile down at her, but he found himself unable to. He dreaded what was to come, and he knew it was for the best, yet he didn't want to have ever let it come to this.

When the nurse calls for Blue, he brings her up, steadily, carries her so she doesn't have to walk on her weak legs. The nurse gives him a sad look, and tries to smile, but there is no real emotion to it. Dell appreciates her sympathy though, and nods to her in thanks.  
He is led into an exam room, where a veterinarian is already waiting for him. The woman nods to him, asks him if he would like a few minutes alone with Blue before they proceeded. Dell says yes, and the nurse and doctor leave him with his old companion.  
"Blue, you're in a lot of pain, old girl. But everything is going to be all right soon, gal. The doc is going to make all the pain go away." He scritches Blue's ears. She licks his hand. He smiles, feels tears welling up in his eyes. He takes off his glasses and stuffs them in the pocket of his jeans, next to his phone.  
"Gal, everything will be all right soon," he says, voice beginning to crack. She whines lowly, and he sniffs.  
"I want you to know that I love you, Blue. It hurts me to watch you go like this. Wherever you end up, be it Heaven or Nirvana or whatever exists, I want you to know that I love you, darlin', and I ain't ever going to forget you. Tobasco and lil' Mickey are gonnna miss you, girl. I am too." He can feel tears slipping down his cheeks, but he cannot be bothered to wipe them away.

"You used to be such a lively pup, always running around, jumping on the guys when they'd come by during furlough. I remember when I brought Tobasco and Mickey home, you went nuts, barking and wagging your cute little tail. Always ready to play, you were. Never a dull moment with you around, old gal." Blue looks up at him with her cool, grey eyes. She looks so tired and worn, and Dell chokes on air for a moment. He swallows hard, before giving her one last scratch behind the ears, and signalling for the vet.  
The nurse calmly strokes Blue's coat while the vet explains to Dell the solution that they would be using. It was a high dosage of seizure medication; it would ensure a quick and painless passing for Blue. He nods curtly and stamps down his urge to cry. He instead comforts his companion with loving pats while the vet prepares the needle. The nurse has a firm, yet gentle hold on the dog's foreleg, and Dell realizes she's trying to find a vein for the injection. It is a short process, finding the vein, and when the vet finally sticks the needle in, time slows to a near halt for him. Blue looks up at him and he can't stop the flow of tears from falling anymore as he feels her relax under him. She takes a deep breath, and then she goes limp under his touch, and he knows now that she is gone. She is finally free of the pain and the suffering she had bravely endured for so long, and she's finally in a better place.

He asks if he may take her body home with him for burial. The vet assures him that it is perfectly alright to take the body home, and that they have a container prepared for her. He unclips her collar from around her neck, as her body is carefully placed in the container. The veterinarian walks with him out to his truck, helps him load it in. She offers her condolences, and hands him a slip of paper, and tells him, should he need anyone to talk to, she would listen. She knew what having to lose your dog felt like.  
He thanks her and they part with a handshake. She turns for the building, white lab coat billowing behind her, and Dell can't help but chuckle at her resemblance to  
his team's doctor, Milo.

When he pulls in to the driveway of his home, he sees a car already parked in it. His daughter is home from university.  
He takes the container inside and his daughter looks up at him with the biggest grin on her face, with Tobasco and Mickey curled up next to her on the couch,  
"Hey dad! Have you seen Blue? I can't find her anywhere, and Mick said he hasn't seen her either." Dell sets the container down a moment, rolls his shoulders, and wills the tears away, somewhat successfully. She eyes the container.  
"What's in the box? It looks like-" She stops short. "Oh my god."  
He can't stop the film of tears from clouding his eyes as his daughter opens the container and makes a choked noise. She begins to cry, hands wringing her maroon beanie tightly, and Dell joins her, holding her within his arms and managing to hum a choked-up rendition of a song his wife used to hum, when their daughter was just a tiny baby swaddled in blankets.

"Was it peaceful?" She manages to ask, through a shimmering film of tears.  
"Yes, baby doll. She went peacefully."  
The pair sit there a moment longer, as Mickey barks and tries to nudge Blue awake with his nose. They take Blue's body out of the container and into the backyard, and she holds the body while he digs a hole for Blue. It takes a good while, but the hole is dug, and she gingerly places Blue in the hole. She pick a rose from the rosebush and places it next to her. She walks back in to the house and returns a moment later with Blue's favorite toy, a stuffed bunny named Bonk. She places the toy in the grave next to Blue, then mutters a prayer for good travels in the afterlife. Dell asks her if she's ready to fill the grave, and she nods shakily. They both partake in filling it, and when the final patch of dirt is placed, they both pat it down with the shovel.  
"Hey, Blue'll get to see mom again. Bet mom missed her dog, she'll be happy to see Blue up there with her," she says, and Dell's heart clenches at the mention of his late wife. He agrees.

"You and your mom loved Blue so much. When your mom saw her at the shelter, she would not let it go until we adopted her. When we brought her home you and her were inseparable. You've always been just like your mother that way," he says with a hollow chuckle. She nods.  
"Let's order some food tonight, dad. Today doesn't seem like a good day to cook anything."  
"Well, you damn near read my mind," he says with a laugh as they head inside.

Hours later, the television is running old cartoons and his daughter has fallen fast asleep on the couch, snoring loudly. Dell quietly picks her up, nearly breaking his back in the process, and carries her to her bedroom. He tucks her in and whispers a good night to her.  
He turns down the volume of the television but not completely; try as he might, he could not sleep in complete silence.  
He makes himself comfortable on the couch (he's too lazy at this point to move to his own bedroom) and looks out into the backyard. The fireflies are out tonight, shining brightly in the dark sky.  
"Good night, Blue," he whispers, "Sweet dreams, you little rascal."

**Author's Note:**

> In memory of my best friend, through thick and thin.  
> Rest in peace, Pokey. You may be gone from the mortal world, but you will never die.


End file.
